Lying Through My Teeth.

As an adult, I’ve never really been the biggest fan of Halloween. I love the fall and adore seeing all the little kiddos in costume, but to me, there is something slightly unnerving about seeing entire groups of adults dressed up in costumes.

This year in particular, what with the holiday occurring on a Saturday and the temperatures being unseasonably mild, I had a host of party invitations that came my way. Rather than poo-poo the festivities, I figured I’d embrace the holiday and went to work on an easy, inexpensive, comfortable costume. (‘Cause that’s just how I roll.)

I started with a $4 white t-shirt. (Thanks, clearance section of the Gap Outlet!)

I got out two sharpies, spread some magazines on the ground so I wouldn’t stain the carpet, and started stretching the truth. (My cat, Nolan, supervised.)


My plan, you see, was to be a little white lie.


I wish I could tell you I came up with the costume completely on my own, but the truth is I saw this idea several years ago at a party. But, hey! Props to me for even remembering the darn thing.

Once the shirt was finished, I threw on a pair of leggings, ballet flats, and was out the door. No face paint, no unflattering outfits, no trampy looking attire yet still in an amusing costume. Fabulous.

While I may have seen the idea before (nothing new under the sun, you know) the white lies I wrote down were all my own doing. In case you can’t read the shirt, for your amusement:
(How many have you told before?)

- No, officer, I have no idea how fast I was going!
- It’s okay, size doesn’t really matter.
- My phone was on silent.
- Yes, it’s a perfect gift!
- The new haircut looks great!
- You didn’t get my email? Something must be wrong with the server.
- I wanted to call but I lost your phone number.
- Your table will be ready in 5 minutes.
- I need to take a sick day.
- Your new boyfriend is awesome.
- Thank you SO much! I just love it!
- Don’t worry. It happens to lots of guys.
- This is my natural hair color!
- I’ll start working on that ASAP.
- It’s fine, I’ll pull out.
- Yes, you look great in that outfit.
- You were the BEST one.
- No, it didn’t break…
- I need to leave early. I have a dentist appointment.
- Too bad we can’t see Manny in the Series…
- Of course he likes you!
- The check is in the mail.
- I’ll call you.
- I don’t think all Yankees fans are jerks.

For someone who moans and groans about Halloween and drags her feet when RSVPing to Halloween related parties, I have to tell you, I actually had a kick-ass time out and about party hopping through the night. And that, friends, is the honest truth.