11.6.05

I have always been one for marking up calendars with important dates and keeping track of anniversaries. I suppose, in a life that often seems to fly by at warp speed it’s my little way of taking stock, keeping track, and pausing to remember where I was at a certain time and place.

Yesterday marked five years since my move down to New York City. It’s funny to me, that even after five years this time of year makes me think of that move – of the preparing, the packing, the excitement, the nervousness, the goodbyes, the hellos, the thrill, the fear, the adventure. As I drove around town yesterday running errands; I couldn’t help but picture my 26-year-old self and remember where I’d been five years ago. In an instant I can recall picking up the U-Haul truck in the morning, loading and unloading heavy boxes and heavier furniture, and dealing with all the hassles a move entails. I can conjure up all the thoughts that swarmed through my brain on that moving day, including the wonderment and looming question of what exactly was going to come next.

Of course, a lot happens in five years. There are changes, losses, gains, heartaches, joy, sadness, bliss. And when I take moments to stop and reflect – when I write on my calendar in pink pen that it’s my NYC Anniversary! it’s because I want to remember and recall that this life I’m living, these choices I’m making are all mine. They are certainly not always perfect and I often think it’s wiser to keep my eyes focused on the road ahead of me more often than it is to keep looking backward. Still, a glance in the rear view mirror every now and then is important to me. Sometimes, during those glances back I think of the things I’ve lost. More often than not though, I think of all that I have gained. Because all of this – all of these choices, these calendar dates, and these anniversaries add up to tell somebody’s story, to create someone’s life.

And that someone is me.