On Standards.

I hate plain cream cheese. There aren’t many foods I’m picky about and I usually eat any, all, and everything on my plate without complaint. For some reason though, plain cream cheese makes my skin crawl. I hate the texture, I hate the taste. I can’t even explain this disgust myself because I love other flavors of cream cheese – veggie and chive? Yes, please. But plain? No. Thank. You. Not. Ever.

One of the nicest moments I experienced just a few weeks ago was arriving into work to find that my co-workers had not only surprised me with bagels in honor of my 5 year work anniversary, but that they’d set aside a tub of chive cream cheese solely for my enjoyment. While they’d been planning the event one of my friends chimed into the email chain and said “um, I know she really, really likes chive cream cheese.” And then, just like that, they went and ordered some for me.

Many years ago, I dated this guy. He was very funny and charming and we got along pretty well. There was one morning when we drove to a nearby Dunkin Donuts together and ordered our respective coffees, and bagels with cream cheese. Seeing as I’d clearly articulated in my order at the counter that I wanted veggie cream cheese, I didn’t think to check the container in the store. But, of course, as soon as I got back into the car, I realized they’d given me –ugh- the plain stuff. I sighed and mentioned this to dating guy. He had already started the car and was pulling out into the street. We were in no hurry, we had nowhere to be. What should have happened was this: the car gets stopped, I run back into the store to get a type of cream cheese that won’t make me gag while I eat my breakfast. But instead, this is what happened: dating guy drove further down the block and suddenly in a grumpy mood, said “Just eat the cream cheese, Kel. Just deal with it.”

That incident pops into my head every once in awhile these days as I navigate my way through this great big winding world. I think about it with the friends I know and hold dear, with the men I date, with the people I am just beginning to know. As my life unfolds I have decided the following:

I do not need, nor do I want, anyone in my life who is going to force me to eat plain cream cheese. Oh sure, I have plenty of other standards too. But for me? It seems cream cheese is as good a place to start as any.