Originally, seeing as today marks the beginning of June, I'd intended to write a post about the books I read during the month of May. But then I got into the office and, as I sipped my coffee and ran through my usual morning scroll on Facebook, I stumbled upon the all too tragic news story of recent Yale graduate, Marina Keegan. I have been thinking of this young woman, this girl I never knew, and most likely would have never met, all day long. By now you have probably read her final piece that went viral after her death, The Opposite of Loneliness, which was written and distributed just last week for the special commencement edition of the Yale Newspaper.
My heart breaks for Marina's family and her loved ones. I am haunted by this senseless story of a life lost and heartbreak for a myriad of reasons, but here's the heart of what touched me the most:
For most of us, however, we’re somewhat lost in this sea of liberal
arts. Not quite sure what road we’re on and whether we should have taken
it. If only I had majored in biology…if only I’d gotten involved in
journalism as a freshman…if only I’d thought to apply for this or for
that…
What we have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can
change our minds. We can start over. Get a post-bac or try writing for
the first time. The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical.
It’s hilarious. We’re graduating college. We’re so young. We can’t, we
MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we
have.
I will tell you, that even at 32, it is easy to fall into the 'if only' trap. When things aren't going the way I want them to, when I'm frustrated with work, or my writing, or I'm not seeing career or life goals I've set for myself come to fruition, I can be very quick to blame myself. Even now, 11 years out of college, I'll catch myself wondering why I didn't write for the school paper, why I didn't push back during some of those class discussions when I disagreed with my classmates or my TA, why I didn't sign up for more events or take more chances. Even on my recent trip to Spain, I found myself wondering aloud why I didn't take Spanish in college, why I didn't study abroad for a semester in the lovely and beautiful Seville.
But then I have to stop and remind myself that - shockingly - we don't (I didn't) know everything at 18, 21, 27, or hell, 32. For I am still learning, every. single. day. And if we're lucky, if we're open, we grow, discover, change, and evolve every day that we are fortunate enough to be alive on this earth. And our tastes, our interests, evolve with us. So when I find myself muttering to myself about how I should have dropped that one ridiculously idiotic mythology class I took second semester of my junior year in favor of a creative writing session, or berating myself for taking a job that had nothing to do with the sorts of things I am interested in developing and pursuing career wise, or even getting on my own case about dating a boy who was no good for my heart or my soul, I have to pause and remind myself that I didn't know yet. I just didn't know.
And there's no fault in that.
The true error would only be the change that didn't come after the understanding, after the realization. The expression Carpe Diem - Seize the Day - can, at times, sound a bit cliche, a touch overused.
And yet.
The days, they pass so quickly. We are lucky enough to get just so many of them. Marina was speaking to a graduating class with her piece, a group of young adults just stepping out, fresh-faced into the world. But I believe we would all be wise - no matter our age - to listen to her eloquent statement - We can still do anything. We can change our minds. We can start over. The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical.
Carpe Diem, friends. For until you reach your very last day, it is never - never - too late.
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2 comments:
We all make choices through our lives based on what we know and where we are both physically and emotionally at the time. No doubt all of us have some wishful do-overs as we look back at some choices that weren't the best. As they say, "Hindsight is 20/20". Let's hear one for WISDOM. But you are right; it's never too late to try something new. Fear stops us from taking those old youthful chances. It's a leap of faith to take the risk. My gut says, "Go for it" but don't throw out common sense, the need for security, lasting friendships, grounding, etc. and the maturity that you've earned along the way. All of your choices have brought you to where you find yourself today. Life is about choices and some give back more than we anticipated and others fizzle. And none of us can predict success or disappointment i.e. what lies ahead. But don't be afraid to TRY. One knows with certainty the outcome if one never tries. Better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Good luck, baby girl. You've done pretty well so far!
Thank you for this reminder. Last year one of my theme's was "Always say yes to an adventure" and I think that fits in nicely with the whole Carpe Diem mentality.
xox
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