Moments.

The past week or so has been a total doozy.  Earlier in March I was traveling for work, spending some time out in the heartland of our country.  No sooner did I get back from that business trip then I was hit with a knock-out of a cold, which I'm going to blame on all the germs associated with travel and the fact that this is the winter that simply will not let up no matter how much we beg, borrow or steal.  This cold, which I'm convinced was some strain of the flu, knocked me on my rear last week in a way I haven't been knocked out in a long time.  Fever, rattling cough, the chills, night sweats. You name it, I got to experience it.  Just as soon as I felt like I could maybe, possibly, sit upright without feeling like I was going to die right then and there, I had to board a six hour flight across the country, final destination San Diego. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've flown with the flu!
(I am sure my fellow passengers appreciated my flying while dealing with this cold too.  But it was for my little brother's wedding, so it's not like I could pass on the trip or anything.)

Turns out that warm, dry California air is actually beneficial to a cold versus the icy 27 degree nonsense we've been dealing with in Boston.  While I've still got a lingering cough, I am heaps and heaps better than I was a week ago, thankfully.  If this was my body's last ditch effort to squeeze in one more illness for the winter that never ends (never mind that we're technically into spring over here) well, fine.  But come on immune system. Let's not let that nightmare happen again anytime soon, shall we?

Over this past weekend, while spending time with my parents and watching my brother and his brand new bride exchange their vows and promises, I kept thinking about family.  In particular, my family.  We are not without our flaws, we're certainly not perfect.  But the immediate core that makes up the four of us, is all I've ever known.  Even with my parents divorce, the fact that all of us live too far apart, and each of us have our own daily lives to go about and live, there is something forever and uniquely special about occasions that pull a family back together again for a few days.  There is nothing like being around people that have known you literally for your entire existence on this Earth.

So yes, my darling little brother tied the knot last Saturday which is amazing for about 10 million different reasons, mostly because there are a lot of days where I still picture myself as about thirteen or so, which means in my mind, I sort of, sometimes forget that he's no longer eight.  Turns out, he is a 29 year old grown-up, one of the most handsome, smart, and best all around guys I know, and now he has been a husband for five days.

Oh time.  How fast and fickle you move.
 
I read something years ago on one of my favorite blogs; something that has stuck with me for forever, something that I try very hard to be cognizant of, in each and every moment that I am lucky enough to experience.  "The moment passed, of course, as they all do - the good ones and bad ones alike, time treats them all the same and oh, how unfair is that? - and we trudged onward." 

During the bad moments, the challenging and difficult times, I try and remember that time will pass just the same as it will during the good and precious ones.  I will get sick and catch the flu and be miserable for days.  But then I'll - thankfully - get well again and heal and I'll be so utterly grateful for the health I can sometimes easily take for granted.

Sometimes, especially if I'm feeling lonely, I will miss my parents, my brother, the days of my childhood when the four of us were living under one roof.  But then I'll remind myself that I'm where and who I am today because of that foundation I had growing up, that hard work and determination got me to the city and my job and all of the trappings of this wonderful and amazingly unique life I have.  And when I think this way, particularly about the strange and wondrous way that time passes for all of us, I'll find that I remember to linger a little longer over morning coffee while sitting with my Mom out in Southern California on the weekend of my brother's wedding, or listen to my Dad a little more intensely while he tells me a story about the months that he himself lived out West more than thirty years ago.

And I'll watch that baby brother of mine take the next big step in his own evolving life.  I'll give him the best hug I know how, I will think to myself how very proud of him I am, and maybe, if I'm very lucky we will all get a chance to hit the pause button, even for just a single moment.