Leading With Love.

A few weeks ago, as I cradled a paper plate piled high with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and all the trappings of a Thanksgiving meal on my lap, I sat next to one of my best friends on another friend's couch, catching up over our annual "friends-giving."  We were sharing stories, trading updates on what we'd been up to recently and I started to tell her about one of the more frustrating areas of my life as of late.   No matter how I approached this particular issue, I explained, I was met with road blocks.  I'd been empathetic, understanding.  I'd tried getting angry.  I'd tried being sad. I'd pleaded.  I'd even tried to remain ignorant, hoping the problem would go away on its own.  All to no avail.

"I'm just...frustrated." I told my friend.  "I'm stuck here, wanting - trying - to make things change among this group, but I can't make them change.  Leading a horse to water and all that."

And then my friend, my dear, sweet, smart friend, reminded me of what I've known all along.  "So you lead with love, Kelli.  They might not follow and they might not understand but you'll know.  You'll know it's because of love.  All of it comes from love."

But it can be hard sometimes, right? It can be challenging to continue to lead with love when you hit wall after frustrating wall.  There are mean people out there, full of hate and anger and bitterness. The complete opposite of love.  There are times when it seems easier to simply give up, to stop pushing, to shrink.

And yet.

Where would we be if we all just gave up? If those of us that have the capacity to lead with love stopped?

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One of my most favorite expressions or ideas is that light is the only thing that will drive away darkness.  No matter how small or tiny the light, it is always - it will always be - stronger than the dark.  We may not see it right away, it may flicker and fade, but if it is there, it will win.  For the smallest light shines brighter than the blackest darkness every single time.

There are a lot of things I'm grateful for this year, things I do my best to take a moment and appreciate every single day, not just on the fourth Thursday in November. I'm thankful I can get out of bed without aches or pains, that my body will do what I ask of it in yoga, on bike trails, running errands, living my ordinary life.  I'm lucky I have never once worried about putting food on the table or not having a roof over my head or not owning a coat that will keep me warm each winter.  I'm blessed beyond words with the friends I have found, both near and far, and I wouldn't trade a single one.  A good education opens door after door and I'm grateful that the doors I've encountered professionally have kept opening, both in my career, and in my overall desire to be a life-long learner.  My parents - my dear parents - have never once not had my back, which is the greatest level of security and love I may ever know.  I have been immensely blessed over the past 35 years and I am, simply, thankful.

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About five years ago, three of my high school friends and I flew down to Washington, D.C. to visit another friend of ours for the weekend.  The history buff of the group, I convinced the girls that we should spend one of our afternoons touring The Holocaust Memorial Museum.  Of course, the entire museum was moving, depressing, sad, and heart wrenching.  Near the end of the exhibit, in the last wing before the exit, footage of survivors was being shown on a large central screen.  They were clips that lasted a minute or two, some of them talking about their time in hiding or in the concentration camps, others talking about their lives after they were liberated. One of the men interviewed said something that has never left me, that I hope never will.  He was walking through a camp one morning when he passed another man who was praying.  He stopped and asked this fellow prisoner what he was praying for.
"I am thanking God." the man answered.
"Thanking God?" the first prisoner asked, incredulous.  "We are trapped in a level of hell here.  People are dying right before our eyes.  Guards are beating us, murdering us.  What on earth could you be thanking God for?"
The man in prayer stopped and looked up at the first man.  "God did not make me like these men, these murderers.  And I am thanking him for that.  I am thankful he did not fill me with evil like so many around us."

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To our hearts. Our faith.  Our compassion.  Our blessings. To leading with love.

Happy Thanksgiving.