I have had this post kicking around my head for over a month and yet I cannot seem to find the time to stop and write it down. So here, in a few quick stolen moments, is what I would like to say.
Each year that I'm lucky enough to be on this magneficent planet I am grateful for all the things the fortunate among us should be thankful for - our health, our families, dear friends, and community. How blessed are those of us with a roof over our heads, enough food to eat, clothes that keep us warm, a job to pay the bills, activities to nourish our souls, fresh air to breathe into our working lungs and an abled body to bend and twist and move.
There will always be people who are better off than us, as there will always be those living in worse conditions, so I think it is truly something to just be here, right where we are, right in this moment. We get to be here and I think that, in and of itself, is a beautiful and wonderful gift.
On a much more microcosmic level, I find that, this year in particular, I am truly grateful for smiles from strangers. The other day I was in a particularly rotten and lonesome mood when I caught the eye of a woman crossing the street. She was walking toward me, we made eye contact, and without prompt she smiled at me. That's it. But it lifted my heart up and I returned her smile. I kept walking forward.
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I've been thinking a lot about Joan Didion this week; what a gift her writing was and what a mark she has left for all of us still here and all of those still to come. I am particularly inspired by a commencement address she gave in 1975 at UC Riverside:
"I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package. I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”
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It has been a YEAR for so many of us, following so quickly on the heels of the YEAR that was 2020. The dichotomy of emotions can be exhausting - the joyful and the sorrow, the happy laughter and heartbreaking tears all sitting right next to each other. It's a messy existence this being human stuff. Particularly in these days of filters and shiny social media posts, here's to acknowledging that truth and reality. This life stuff can be really bloody hard at times. Just as it can also be utterly awe-inspiring and beautiful. Within my own little existence, my little world, I am trying my best to honor all of it, even on the shittiest of days. I am trying to listen. To notice. To live. in. it.
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