Recap of 2023

It may be almost two weeks late (again with the what is time theme) but finally, finally here is my traditional 38 questions to close out one year and welcome in another.  I love doing this list every year even if I think some of the questions have held up better than others. Without further adieu, here we go:

1.  What did you do in 2023 that you'd never done before?

Skied in Park City, Utah. Went to Governor’s Island, NY. Traveled to Southeast Asia - Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam! Saw Bruce Springsteen play live in his (and my) home state of  New Jersey.  Went to Portland, Oregon. Spent the day at Asbury Park, NJ. Got to play NYC at Christmas-time tourist with my nephew, brother, and sister in law. Checked out a sample sale in SoHo. 

2.  Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

For 2023 - when I turned 43 my rhyme was "43...let's see."  My brother said it sounded depressing, but I meant for it to be an acceptance.  There is so much I can't control despite how much I might try, so I'm trying to lean into embracing the unknown and whatever might unfold. Sometimes the best joys in life are completely unexpected.  "Let's see...what will be...in 2023!"  

Tangible goals:

Take that pottery class - for real.

Write.

Travel to Southeast Asia.

Less phone time, more book/friend/outdoors/anything but screen time.

Rent a place somewhere for a part of summer '23 where I can escape the city heat, bring my dog, go swimming, and sit outdoors on a big ol' comfy porch or deck.

Well.

Let’s start with the tangibles.  I did not take a pottery class. I did not rent a summer place.  I DID get to Southeast Asia in the spring of 2023.  I did write more - even taking two online writing classes.  I was probably 50/50 on the never ending phone and screen time battle…but I did manage it better, particularly in the latter part of the year.

I tried to lean into the unknown.  I really did.  Some days, some months, I did better than others.  2023 felt like a year with a lot of questions.  And I rarely came up with the answers. 

For 2024:

I turned 44 in September and my “slogan” for my year has been - “there’s so much more in store!” I hope the same could apply to the year we’ve just entered in.  No pressure, 2024 but I’ve got high hopes for you. 

I’m picking a word as a theme this year and that word is: clarity.  I’m not clear (pun intended!) how that clarity will manifest itself quite yet.  But as I mentioned, 2023 felt like a storm of questions lobbed at me.  I’m trying, just 12 days in, to take a deep breath, focus, and ask my minds eye what we want next from this year, in this life.  Clarity.

Tangibles:

Make my smartphone work for me instead of working for my smartphone. 

Focus on one thing at a time. Remember not everything is urgent.

Travel back to London for the first time since I lived there in 2002, see Prague, and maybe(?) Berlin.

Write.

Create for the joy of creating. 

Stop being my own harshest critic.

Volunteer at least 12 times a year.

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Kate had a baby girl in June.

4.  Did anyone close to you die?

We lost a coworker this spring after a hell of a fight against Glioblastoma. 

And sadly I lost two people, both to suicide. One in April, One in July.  Heartbroken does not describe it.

5. What countries did you visit?
Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia! First overseas travel since 2020 when Covid shut the world down.

6.  What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?

Clarity.

A sense of home, feeling grounded.

More: love, comfort, movement, stretching, fresh air, music, creativity, laughs, carefree moments, hydration, good health, good diet, exploring, focus.

Less: anger, frustration, loneliness, melancholy, screentime, bad books, negative self talk.

7.  What dates from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
Not many specific dates that I can think of…. I’d say March makes me think of my SE Asia travels, September 21, of course, marks my birthday.  July 4th was the day we lost one of my two friends mentioned above which again, shatters my heart into 700 million pieces.

8.  What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I feel like a broken record but traveling to SE Asia in the spring is in the short stack.  That was a big trip to a side of the world I knew almost nothing about and I’m proud my friend and I pulled it off.

9.  What was your biggest failure?

Times when I did succumb to the pessimist’s viewpoint.  

Not getting answers to some of my most prominent what is next/what is this life questions.

10.  Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh my goodness, I had planter faciatis with a VENGENCE this fall.  It hit both feet at the same time. There were mornings when I got out of bed in the morning and could barely walk. Not cool.

11.  What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets, theater tickets. Souvenirs in SE Asia.  Anything for my dog.

12.  Whose behavior merited celebration?

In the last two years I have had four very good friends, my age, who have been fighting some form of cancer.  3 of the 4 of them are now past their surgeries and chemo and radiation and - as far as we know - on the right side of the asshole that is cancer.  ALL of them have handled their diagnosis with more courage and fearlessness than I ever imagined.  I am amazed and in awe and just so damn proud of them.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Well, obviously our politicians are the worst.  How do I pick just one?  I will say I’m very alarmed over the trend of book bans that seem to be creeping across the nation. Every time I hear of a new ban or legislation for a ban I hear Sean Connery in my head, speaking a line from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: “It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them.”

14.  Where did most of your money go?

Rent, vet bills, groceries, breathing in the most expensive city in the USA.

15.  What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Travel.  Seeing friends and family.  Any time spent with Indy. Writing again. Good stories with quality writing told in books or on stage or in films or on television.

16.  What song will always remind you of 2023?

Anything by TayTay.  Literally, any song by Taylor Swift sums up the year for me musically.

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you: a)happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) oh gosh, about the same truthfully. Maybe a smidge happier.

b) also about the same? Although I just inhaled a bowl of pasta for dinner so ask me again in an hour.

c) at this moment, richer but that’s also because I’ve been trying my best to spend minimal $ in 2024. But, I’m also now back in NYC (versus traveling for holidays and work in early January) so I’m sure that will all change starting this weekend...

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
More writing.  More creating. More exercising. Listening to more music.  Letting myself be more carefree and silly, lighthearted.

19.  What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying.  Specifically, waking up at 3am in the middle of the night panicked about something.  Stressing about work.  Stressing about life.  Trying to manage everyone's expectations and feeling responsible for other people’s behavior and emotions.

20.  How will you be spending Christmas?
I was at my Mom’s house in Georgia.  Mom, me, and her dog, Tully.

21.  Did you fall in love in 2024? Well, I fall in love with my dog daily.  Does that count?

22.  What was your favorite TV program? This is the toughest question on here. Succession and The Bear.  Love them both. The writing! The character development! The story arcs! I don’t know if I can choose between the two of them.

23.  Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.

24.  What was the best book you read?
I read some great ones in 2023 but the one I think about the most is Barbara Kingsolver’s Demon Copperhead. I really loved that book. My goodness, Demon! What a character.

Runners up include: Tom Lake, A Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing, Arcadia, and A Heart that Works.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oh man, I’m so boring.  (And I used to be so cool!) Um, Taylor Swift? Can she count since she was who I listened to the most? Did I even discover any new music this year? 

*Checks Spotify* 

No, I honestly can’t think of anyone!!

26.  What did you want and get?

To travel to SE Asia.  To see/visit friends.  To have my brother and his family visit me in NYC and to show my nephew New York for the first time. More bonding with Indy. To read a lot.  To get to the theater often.

27. What did you want and not get?
A partner.  A (human) family of my own.  All of my family together more often. 

Answers to even a few of the g-damn non stop questions running through my mind. (Clarity!)

More friends to hang out with in the city.

28.  What was your favorite film of the year?

Barbie, duh.

29.  What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 44.  I took the day off of work, started the morning with a sunny walk in Central Park with my pup.  Facetimed with my Mom to open a few presents.  Picked up a rental car and Indy and I drove up to Massachusetts where I did a whirlwind drop off and hugs with dear friends who were watching Indy for the weekend for me.  From there I drove into Boston to have dinner out with some of my Boston pals.  Most of the day was spent in the car which was a little underwhelming but I had nice bookends to start and end the day.

30.  What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A sense of knowing instead of the question death-spiral.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023? 

This is a question I was much better prepared to answer pre-Covid.  Let’s see.  Skinny jeans have faded, I wear the frayed jean, sweater, and Blundstone boot uniform often in the winter months.  I’ve purchased several jumpsuits over the last year and they’re one of my favorite go-tos. Truthfully though I have a lot of days where I pull on joggers or leggings and a basic top because a) I decide to shower around 11am after working several hours in my pjs, or b) I have zero plans to actually interact with a human in person so why would I subject myself to anything with a waistband?

32.  What kept you sane?

Indy, God bless sweet Indy.  Yoga.  Books. Reading. Writing.  The theater.  Good TV.  My friends. Getting outside every morning.  Getting outside anytime.  Having a cozy apartment. My parents.  My family.  MVP award this year goes to my Dad.

33.  Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  

Kudos to Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Greta Gerwig, Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, and all the other men and women who helped chisel away at the Patriarchy.

Like a lot of people, I am fine to watch Jeremy Allen White anytime, anywhere.  I also recently rewatched one of my favorite movies, The Family Stone, and I was reminded all over again how much I like that Mr. Luke Wilson.


34.  What political issue stirred you the most?
How do you pick one?  

The Israel-Hamas war.  My God.

35.  Who did you miss?
My Grandma, always.

My friends who don't live close enough.

My family.

Some days, the younger version of me. 

36.  Who was the best new person you met?
I technically met them in November of 2022, but we became better friends in 2023 - and they are two friends (John and Chris) of another friend (Tricia).  The four of us make a fun “quad” and I’m happy anytime we all can hang out...which is never enough, but I'll take what I can get.  

 37.  Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023.
Nobody else knows what they’re doing either.

38.  Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Never be so kind, you forget to be clever

Never be so clever, you forget to be kind…

Never be so polite, you forget your power

Never wield such power, you forget to be polite…