It's not personal. It's business.

Over the past week, I've been dealing with a rather contentious situation at work.  I won't go into the details here beyond to say that our side is in the right, their side isn't, (even legal agrees) and there has been discussion after discussion regarding this.  The other side expects me to cave, I'm sure of it.  They have tried the kind, innocent approach.  When that didn't work and I didn't give them what they wanted, they turned to anger and harsh words.  When that did not get them the result they desired (There is no faster way to get no where with me than to act rude and irrational. I will not have that nonsense.  No sir.) they swung the pendulum back toward the sweet side.  As if I can't tell a good cop/bad cop act when I see one.

Through all the back and forth my answer maintains the same.  I continue to tell them exactly what they don't want to hear.  No.

When I was younger, my mother would sometimes tell me "build a thicker skin."  I was always protective of my sensitivity though, aware, even as a youth, that there would likely come a time when life would simply demand that I shed that sensitivity; when I would need to apply that coat of armor most of us need to get through the not so pleasant moments in life.  It's inevitable as we grow into adulthood that we become tougher, more worldly, less quick to internalize and take personally certain situations that life throws us.  I have always been slightly afraid that one of those times when I applied the armor and toughness needed to get through this rather cut-throat world that I might not be able to shake it off again.  You know how it goes - live in Norther California once, but leave before it makes you soft.  Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

While I realize my job is to enforce the decision that was agreed upon prior, and one that both I and my company have made, it certainly isn't what I would call "fun."  Anyone who ever tells you they enjoy confrontation, arguments, or battles over anything - big or small - is lying.  (Or, they're likely a divorce lawyer.) No one wants to feel taken advantage of or walked upon either, though.  It's sort of like when you break up with someone.  Even if you know the relationship has soured or was never truly the right fit from the get-go, even when you're absolutely sure you will both be better off without each other, you still have to go through the act of breaking up. Which is about as fun for everyone as swimming in a pool of hungry sharks.

Last night, as I made my way to yoga after work, in an emotionally and physically exhausted state, I kept reminding myself over and over that I was in the right.  There's no question.  I kept thinking about what a learning experience this was, telling myself that as I handle this, I'm growing more within my role, within my career.  And no matter what was said or thrown at me that day, I knew I was right to stand my ground.  But even when you know it, down to your very core, it doesn't necessarily make it any easier.  This side of the business is, quite simply, hard.
 
And so it goes.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.