Together.

For someone who prides themselves on "using her words" the past couple of months have left me at a complete and utter loss.  My fellow classmates and I were warned, as we finished year one of our MBA program last May that the third semester would be the hardest, the most exhausting. As one does with most warnings we listened, (partially) assuring ourselves that somehow things would be different for US, that WE would be an exception.

Turns out, we are not the exception. 

It's a grueling semester and I'm dealing with an extremely heavy work load at the office.  But there has been something else as well these days.  Sure, it is one thing to bury your head in work, cross off the tasks as they come, and know you'll eventually get through it.  (And I know that, I do.)  No, this has been different, something that I have yet to truly put my finger on; to find the right words to explain myself.  I have been stressed out, tired, cranky, frustrated, anxious, a sense of malaise lingering in corners of my days. Sad or depressed doesn't fit the bill; I know those feelings and these have not been the same.  This has felt like more a general state of anxiety; as if I just couldn't catch my breath no matter how I tried.

Even as I felt this,  I also felt like I shouldn't complain. I kept reminding myself how many wonderful and fortunate things I had going for me, how much laughter and life and love was all around me.  There was so much - there is so much - good.  Thankfully, these things hold true. 

And yet.

Last week, still unable to pinpoint what was bothering me, I found myself talking.  I couldn't carry my crowded thoughts along on my own anymore.  I confided in a friend over burgers one night.  The minute I began my rambling, she nodded, understanding.  Then she shared hers.  We realized our worries and fears and stress as of late were not that different from each others.  What an immediate sense of relief!  Then, I emailed with another pal, catching up, sharing the ups and the downs life has been throwing as of late.  The tone of our emails changed, I could tell we both felt better sharing.  This weekend,  I finally opened up with my classmates about how exhausted I was, how challenging I was finding this semester in particular.  Worried that they would disagree with me I felt ready to explain further - but they immediately started nodding their heads in agreement, sharing their own stresses and exhaustion about our classes, our assignments, their work loads - both school and office.  We traded stories over a couple of beers about late nights spent trying to comprehend assigned homework and ultimately found ourselves doubled over in laughter as we rehashed lectures that had left us clueless and bewildered. 

Turns out, we weren't alone.

I wasn't alone.

I started to feel better; to breathe a little easier. 

What I realized, or remembered rather, as I talked and they listened and I listened while they talked that we are all in this life together.  Oh yes, of course I knew that already but I think for a moment, I had forgotten.  I was so focused on my to-do list and moving forward to the next task and attacking problems without a minute to lose that I lost sight of the fact that all of us, every single person, has our ups and our downs, our good moments and our bad.

To say that tomorrow is a pivotal day in our nation is an understatement.  This is not a political blog, never has been and I do not intend to start now.  Along with my own personal stresses and anxieties I was dealing with this fall our great and beautiful nation has been dealing with her own.  Say what you will, vote for who you want, exercise your right and have your say, you do you.  The bottom line is that I think and know and have realized all over again that we humans need one another.  We find strength in our likeness, our commonalities and we are ALL so much more alike than we even realize. And I think it's okay to share our hardships and frustrations with one another.  I don't feel it makes us less of an accomplished person nor does it diminish our hard work, dedication, and will power.  Hate and blame and arrogance and selfishness only breeds more hate and anger and selfishness; it just builds and builds and no good will ever come of it.  Ever.  I am not so naive as to think we don't have a myriad of challenging heartbreaking issues ahead of us as a nation; because we certainly do.  But I think it's also important to remember that we should all be playing for the same team, that we ultimately want to leave this world better than we found it. 

No man is an island; we cannot go it alone.  Once again I have been reminded of this - of how important and fortunate I am to have the support of and to be able lend my support and love and encouragement to my family, my friends, my loved ones, and this country.  I love you, American.  I do. 

Make us proud.