That's a Wrap, 2014.

This will be the sixth year that I've answered these 38 questions at the years end.  I have been keeping a running tally of these years -  2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013 are linked here.  I'll get right down to it in just a minute, but before I do, let me just say that I can't remember a recent year when I've been more ready to flip the calendar to a fresh, blank slate, brand new year.  2013 was a bang-up year for me.  2014?  Not my favorite.  There were some wonderful, glittery, shining, perfect moments.  And there were, as with anything, I suppose, some really tough and challenging times that felt like they might never go away.  So while I am and remain grateful for each and every day of health and, well, life, I'm ready for the New Year.  

2015, I can't wait to meet you.  

1.)  What did you do in 2o14 that you'd never done before?
Traveled to Montreal and Quebec.
Spent a week out West in Wyoming - Jackson Hole area, Yellowstone, and The Grand Tetons.
Fell in love with that part of the country. 
Woke up one morning in a cabin in Idaho and drove to the nearest gas station with my friend at dawn to get breakfast before our scheduled trail ride.  Came back to our cabin to find the field in front of it filled with over twenty horses that had been let loose from the pen nearby...all of them just grazing as we sipped our coffee and walked past them.  That became an instant favorite memory of mine.
Attended three yoga retreats - one in Vermont, one on Martha's Vineyard, and one in New Hampshire - on my own.  I walked into each of those weekends nervous about knowing no one but my beloved yoga teacher and a few days later walked out with brand new smart, strong yogis as friends. 
Attended my brother's wedding.
Became an (official) Aunt.
Went to Chicago.
Bought myself a MFA membership.
Bought myself a road bike.
Went back for the first time in 20 or so years to the summer camp I'd attended as a child. 
Had breakfast with my Dad, on my last day as a 34 year old, in a road-side greasy spoon in my hometown that neither of us had ever eaten at before. Never mind that NJ has been home for 34 years.  (It was delicious.)

2.  Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Here's what I wrote last year about 2014:   So for 2014 I'd like to continue to honor my notion of listening and trusting my heart as much as I did in 2013.  I think over the past year I did a better job of saying yes to the sorts of things I really wanted to be doing and, in turn, recognizing when I really wanted to say no and then saying it without feeling (too much) guilt. I worked hard to get myself to places I wanted to be and took more calculated risks than I have in the past.  I feel like this past year I lived with intention more than I can recall in the recent past...so again, that's a trend I'd like to continue for 2014.

While my running program has fallen by the wayside (whoops) I have fallen into a pretty regular, solid routine with my yoga which I love and definitely plan to maintain.  As always, the same notion of making more time to read and write are at the top of my resolution list.

And here's one more I'm going to pile into the vast, open pages of the 2014 calendar.  And that's taking more risks in the dating department.  I had some hits and misses in the romance department in 2013, but I'm not always good about getting myself to just take the leap to go out on a date.  Just one date.  I can sometimes get 18 steps ahead of myself before we've even met for a beer.  I need to remember to take the world of dating one single step at a time. 

Okay!  Well.  I definitely stuck with the yoga.  I kept a record this year of how many yoga classes I went to - partially to make sure my monthly membership was worth it and partially just because it was a fun record to have.  In 2014, I made it to 112 yoga classes!  I started with a class on 1/1/14 and just never looked back, I guess.

I didn't make as much time for reading or writing as I probably should have (do we ever?) but I did read 20 books, and I probably wrote more than I have in years, because I joined a writing group last January.  That forced me to work on some pieces to submit to the group and got those creative juices stirring. Of course, this blog, which serves many purposes, including a running narrative of my life and a writing motivator, kept me churning out posts when I could.  

I like to think that I DID take more risks in the dating department too.  Turns out none of them stuck beyond a handful of dates, but that's okay.  I'm meeting a lot of frogs, friends.  A lot of frogs.

I still tried to lead with my heart, with love, but I hit more road blocks than I did in the year prior.  Still, the older I get, the better I get at trusting myself more.  This past year I did a much better job of thinking, as Amy Poehler suggests in her new book, as she discusses some benefits of getting older: whocareswhocareswhocareswhocareswhocares? 

I'd like to continue working on making "Yes." or "No." the complete sentence.  No long winded explanations or excuses.  Just Yes if I can or want to.  No if I can't or don't.

In the interest of yearly Intentions rather than resolutions, I have decided that 2015 will be "the year of confidence."  Being the self-aware person that I am, I have noticed that I often times do not give myself enough credit.  It's in my nature (I'm a Virgo after all) to look before I leap...but at times I can talk myself out of giving something a shot or reaching further, aiming for something just beyond my grasp.  But I can do it. There's a little teeny, tiny, quiet voice telling me that I can.  There is a lot I want to do in this life.  I don't want, when I'm old and gray and reliving my glory days, to think that self-doubt was the thing that held me back.  

Again, I turn to Amy Poehler:
Great people do things before they're ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that's what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself.

So.
2015.  Keeping my heart open.  With Confidence. Living my life. Doing my thing. With Confidence. 


3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?  
I'm 35 years old, smack dab in the middle of a heck of a lot of friends having babies left and right.  Sometimes, there are so many little gems being born, I lose track of who arrived, when.  (Is that terrible?  Probably.  I'm sure I've left someone off this list.  Apologies if it was you.)  
Let's see.  My friend Sarah had a little boy - during a blizzard! - last January.  My friend Libby had a baby girl the day after my very own birthday.  My sweet friend, Brynn, had her second little boy this past spring.  A former co-worker and friend, Kimmy, had a baby boy this past fall.  Oh and another Sarah, had a little girl this spring as well.

And of course, my sister in law, gave birth to a handsome and healthy little boy in August making me an official Aunt for the very first time.

4. Did anyone close to you die? 
Thankfully, no.  I am glad and also grateful.
5. What countries did you visit? 
Canada counts, right?*  I had a work trip in Montreal in August and then had two traveling buddies join me when it was over so we could tack on a few fun days in Montreal and Quebec.  

*While we were there, whenever we'd encounter something different from the way we do things in the USA, I'd say "guys!  It's like we're in another country!"  To which my friends would inevitably laugh and reply, "because we ARE in a different country..."

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? More time.  Always more time.  Less tension and unnecessary drama.  More visits with family and friends.  Dates that are fun and wonderful and silly and serious and romantic and sweet and lovely.  More princes; less frogs.
7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
My nephew's birthday, August 26th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 
 Growing my portfolio at work.  Joining - and sticking with! - a writing group.  Helping my parents. Doing an (assisted) handstand in yoga class.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I almost always play the role of peacekeeper or Switzerland among my family and friends.  Sometimes I'm really good at it.  Other times, I'm not.
Losing my patience even when every fiber of me knows that it's not worth it. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I always say plane tickets.  I love to travel.  I'm also pretty psyched I finally plunked down the money for that road bike I've wanted for years.   

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Right before Christmas, an anonymous woman made the news here in Boston for paying off every single person's layaway accounts at a nearby Toys R Us.  How unselfish.  How thoughtful.  How kind.  For every bad story and news piece we hear, I know there are people out there doing good, practicing kindness, fighting the good fight.  We need those people. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Isis. 
The incidents surrounding Ferguson, MO and the recent death of Eric Gardner.
The older I get, the more astounded I am when I have to work with/encounter/deal with people who only focus on themselves.  This world won't work if all we care about is ourselves.
 
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, Car maintenance, clothes(!), travel, taxes.
 
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My nephew's birth.
Traveling to Wyoming.
Getting better at yoga.
Spending time with my parents. 

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
"Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift.  I love that jam.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a) sadder (I feel like I need to qualify this statement.  I'm fine.  But like I said above, 2013 was the best and I walked out of that year on cloud 9.  I'm ready for the next odd numbered year is all!)b) thinner. (I know I keep talking about yoga, but seriously. I'm stronger and more fit and like to think more zen about a lot of things too.)
c) richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reading, Writing, Sleeping soundly, Staying in the present moment.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worrying over things that don't matter or won't happen or are completely out of my control.
 
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it with my Mum in Georgia.  It was the two of us and the best dog in the world, Bailey.  Quiet, but nice.  We went to Christmas Eve service together, I cried through Silent Night (as predicted!) and then we spent Christmas day eating good food, munching on Christmas cookies, sipping mimosas, and opening presents.  It was fun.

21. Did you fall in love in 2014?
Sure.  I met my nephew; a whole new little person to love.  I didn't know it was possible but I love both of my parents more and more every single day.  And my friends.  Oh, man.  I adore them so.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
True Detective I guess.  (That was a 2014 show, right?  The years blur together....)  I still miss Breaking Bad.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Rules of Civility by Amor Towles.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hozier.  Thanks to my girl Amy, we had the chance to catch him before he "broke" with his SNL performance and caught him with about 50 other people at an intimate acoustic show here in Boston last spring.

26. What did you want and get?
Challenges in my job.  More opportunities to travel, specifically to spots I'd never seen before.  A road bike.  Good health.  The chance for lots of yoga.

27. What did you want and not get?
More time with family and friends who live too far away.  More chances to see my cutie nephew. 
 
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
12 Years A Slave.  That film blew me away.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 35 this year and my birthday fell on a Sunday.  I spent Friday night in New Jersey at a good friend's wedding.  Saturday morning I hung out with my Dad before flying back to Boston that night.  Saturday night I went out for cocktails with my urban-dwelling friends and Sunday celebrated with other friends and their cute kiddos.  We went apple picking and they hosted a birthday/last day of summer BBQ at their house.  It was awesome. One of the best birthday weekends ever. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not dealing with assholes. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
More of the same from last year for the most part.  Stud earrings more than dangling ones.  Clean lines and structure but not too modern. A-line skirts and dresses.  Boots, both tall and short.  Blue and white stripes forever. 

32. What kept you sane?
Yoga.  My friends.  My parents.  Writing.  Reading.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Still obsessed with Kate Middleton.  Have a full blown crush on JCrew's creative director and president, Jenna Lyons.  I passed Jake Gyllenhaal on the streets of SoHo this fall while in Manhattan.  He is absolutely as cute in person.  It renewed my crush.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The horrible beheading of James Foley.  It is a tragedy that continues to haunt me. I cannot shake my empathy for his family and think about them on a regular basis.

35. Who did you miss?
My brother.

 
36. Who was the best new person you met?

My nephew, William.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
How we treat one another - each and everyone of us in this big ol' planet - matters.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I was driving home from New Hampshire earlier this fall with my Ipod on shuffle.  Engine to Turn, one of my favorites from singer/songwriter Tift Merritt came on.  I've always loved it's tempo, it's beat.  It's a catchy little song.  But I'd never really listened to and identified with the lyrics until that car ride.  I'm not too proud to tell you I was close to tears as I sang along at the top of my lungs, driving down 93.

Most days I wanna speed up
Seems like I ought to slow down
Maybe the pieces are here
If I just took a good look around
Maybe the world feels like me
Wishing someone would sing it a song
About how there's a lot of good here
About how it's done nothing wrong
I'm just trying to get the engine to turn
I'm just trying to smile through my tears
And I still got so much to learn
But the best I can is what I have got to give
Gonna give it while I'm here