Thank you, 2015.

Seven years in and this is one of my favorite traditions to close out the year.  2009, 2010, 2011, 2012,2013, and  2014 are linked here too. (Not that I imagine anyone but myself cares about reviewing my archives.) 

2015 - oh, 2015.  You were challenging and exhausting and thrilling and wonderful and stressful and grand and difficult all at the same time.  Thank you for the past 365.

Now. Let's do this, 2016.  I've got big plans for us.

1.  What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
Enrolled at Cornell as a business school student and had a semester full of things I'd never done before.  
Dealt with record breaking snowstorms all last winter.
Went to Jamaica, Mon.
Took acting lessons.  
Flew in a teeny tiny prop plane to Martha's Vineyard.
Got a facial.
Visited a fortune teller.
Watched this blog turn 10 years old.
Met and spoke with Jake Gyllenhaal.
Turned 36 years young.


2.  Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Here's what I wrote for 2015:
I have decided that 2015 will be "the year of confidence."  Being the self-aware person that I am, I have noticed that I often times do not give myself enough credit.  It's in my nature (I'm a Virgo after all) to look before I leap...but at times I can talk myself out of giving something a shot, of reaching further, aiming for something just beyond my grasp.  But I can do it. There's a teeny, tiny, quiet voice telling me that I can.  There is a lot I want to do in this life.  I don't want, when I'm old and gray and reliving my glory days, to think that self-doubt was the thing that held me back.

Great people do things before they're ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you're afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that's what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that's really special and if you're not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself. - Amy Poehler - 

2015. Keeping my heart open. With Confidence.  Living my life.  Doing my thing.  With Confidence. 

I am proud and thrilled to say that I think I did keep that resolution and made 2015 the year of confidence.  I was already starting to think about business school and investigating programs when I wrote that post, so that leap was already kicking around in the back of my mind.  

I think, for me, 2015 was all about just diving in and seeing what came of it.  I stopped taking myself so seriously.  I made a conscious effort to not worry about what might happen if plans go awry and I just took chances.

As I sit here, hours away from 2016, I know I'm going to have a whirlwind year ahead of me.  So I won't get too lofty with my goals for this coming year.  I would like to maintain perspective about the things that really matter - what's worth getting worked up over and what isn't.  
2016 - I would like to go for it whenever possible, to reach and keep reaching and grab for all that I can.  There is such a lot of life out there for us. I also want to practice the art of being present and aware.  I reached a lot in 2015 and received a lot.  While I certainly don't want to become stagnant in the coming year and I want to keep growing and evolving...I don't want to be so focused on the future that I forget to stop and really notice the current place and moment(s) I am in.

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?
 Yes.  So many friends had first babies or second babies that I am not even going to attempt to name them all here, lest I forget someone. I'm 36 years old.  Of course everyone is having babies.

4.  Did anyone close to you die?
 Sadly, yes.  I lost, we all lost, Marie in October. One of the most beautiful souls to ever walk this planet.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just one, Jamaica in March. It was as wonderful, relaxing, and indulgent as I'd hoped it would be.

6.  What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More time.
The chance to see my friends and my family more often.
Less annoyances at work place.
Stop sweating the small stuff.

7.  What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
I don't have too many specific dates that jump out at me for this year and those that do are school related.
Late April was when I accepted Cornell's offer.  July 17th was my first day of school.


8.  What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Starting business school at Cornell, sticking with it during the hardest, most stressful moments, eagerly coming back from more...and never having a moment where I thought to myself "Why did I decide to do this?"

9.  What was your biggest failure?
Losing my patience and being short with people unnecessarily.
I think I was pretty good at managing my time once school started but I would have liked to find a way to see my friends and family more despite being utterly void of free time.

10.  Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ugh. Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot earlier this year which hurts like a motherfu*&er.
It's better now, thank goodness.

11.  What was the best thing you bought?
My edu-ma-cation. 
My vacation to Jamaica.
A necklace on Martha's Vineyard.

12.  Whose behavior merited celebration?
2015 has been a pretty lousy year in terms of politics and violence and horrible attacks on innocent people.  During some of our world's darker moments this year there were so many brave and self-less people who stepped forward to help, to offer support and aid.  You look for the helpers.  Always look for the helpers.

Personally, my parents, my friends.  Even when I doubted myself on this whole b. school journey they never once did (or if they did they didn't admit it) and had my back from day one -- supporting and encouraging me during the times I needed it most.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Those people who did the attacking or the shooting or instilled violence on innocent people.
Isis.
Donald Trump.

14.  Where did most of your money go?
School, rent, maintenance on my Jeep, travel, clothes.

15.  What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Applying to Cornell.
Getting accepted.
Accepting their offer.
Starting school.  (Excited and terrified.  But excited won out.)
Vacations.
Breaks or a few precious moments of down time from school when I could do exciting things like get my hair cut! go to the grocery store! see my friends for a slice of pizza!

16.  What song will always remind you of 2015?
 That's an easy one.  Hello by wonder of wonders, Adele.

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you: a)happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
- happier
-thinner
-poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I used virtually every minute given to me this year but it would have been nice to have had more time for pleasure reading, movie watching, more exotic vacations to far away lands.

19.  What do you wish you'd done less of?
Let myself get stressed out and worked into a tizzy over things going on around the workplace.

20.  How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent the holiday with my Mom at her house in Georgia along with wonder-dog, Bailey.  We opened presents, ate good food, baked and decorated Christmas sugar cookies with the two little girls aged 4 and 7 who live next door to my Mom and who are a complete delight, and lounged around Christmas night stuffed with good food and wine.  It was a great Christmas.  One of my recent favorites.

21.  Did you fall in love in 2015?
Yes. I fell in love with not being complacent, with shaking things up a bit in my life, with taking risks, with trying new things.  Romantically?  No.

22.  What was your favorite TV program?
Mad Men's final season.
The Affair.

23.  Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. I don't hate anyone. There are a few people I don't necessarily enjoy...but I don't hate anyone.

24.  What was the best book you read?
Hmm....probably Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. It was a totally unique and captivating story that had me from the get-go.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ha. Like I had time this year to discover new music.  I pretty much listened to Taylor Swift all year...and no, I'm not too proud to admit that.

26.  What did you want and get?
I wrote this in my (often neglected) handwritten journal on February 3rd of 2015: 
Something is coming in 2015. I don't know what exactly yet, I don't know exactly how. I have no boy updates to write here, no different job, news or any of the like.  I can't entirely put my finger on it in regards to what I'm searching for or what I feel I need even. 

I feel like I got what I needed, what I wanted, and what I was searching for - even if I didn't know exactly what that was - in 2015.

27. What did you want and not get?
Honestly, not too much comes to mind here beyond the usual stuff I've mentioned above - more time, more visits with family and friends, more vacations.

28.  What was your favorite film of the year?
I am the worst - the worst! - at this question because I cannot remember movies after I see them!  
I saw Spotlight earlier this week and thought it was extremely well done.  So let's go with that.  2015 was a lot of things for me, but it wasn't a year when I had a lot of time for movie-going. 

29.  What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 36.  My birthday was on a Monday so I made a whole long weekend out of it, detailed here.  It was a wonderful birthday - one of my favorites - and I feel lucky and grateful I had awesome friends around to help me celebrate. 

30.  What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
No drama.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
All American classic...with a twist.
Anthro and J Crew got most of my allotted shopping money...as is the norm lately

32.  What kept you sane?
The handful of classmates, in particular two of my teammates, from this first semester.  I don't know if I'd have survived the semester without their help, support, encouragement, hard work, and knowing just the right time to deliver a much needed joke, or buy a round of beers.
My friends.  My family.
Allowing myself to read for pleasure (versus school work) during my commutes to and from work.
Yoga.

33.  Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Easy.  Jake Gyllenhaal.


34.  What political issue stirred you the most?
In June, the Supreme Court ruled that anyone could marry anyone else.  Love won. Love wins.  Love always wins.


35.  Who did you miss?
My Mom.  My Dad.  My Brother. My family.
Marie, my Horse Mom.
My friends when school work and work work got too damn busy and I had no social time to see them.


36.  Who was the best new person you met?
I can't pick just one.  Every single friend I have made through Cornell has been so special and important and I really cannot believe there's a whole group of people that I get to call my classmates and friends that I didn't even know at this time last year.

 37.  Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
Go for it.
Try it.
Sometimes the biggest  and only thing stopping you is yourself.

38.  Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

But there's a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe
And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

-Rachel Platten Fight Song-